I already knew about squirting when I started to explore my sexuality. My friends talked about it, and I heard other people say it was fake. I never really thought too much about it – I thought it was something my body couldn’t do.
Then it happened. The first time I squirted, I was edging using the Satisfyer Pro 2. I was already shaking. Then I changed the air pulsing to a high setting. It was overstimulating, and… I squirted.
The sensation was like a building pressure, like the feeling right before orgasming. A thigh trembling kind of feeling. A powerful release. The only way I can describe it is that it’s a more intense, wetter orgasm. As someone who is non-binary, squirting was an absolute gender euphoric experience. That’s how it felt for me, it may feel different to you.
What is Squirting?
Think waterfalls. Squirting is the involuntary release of fluid caused from sexual stimulation. Folks with vulvas can squirt. It can eject from the body like a shooting stream, or it can trickle and gush. The amount of liquid produced will not always be the same every time you squirt. Squirting doesn’t always happen during orgasm; it can happen before or after orgasm as well.
Let’s address the most common question when it comes to squirting:
Is it pee? (Spoiler: Not really)
There’s a huge debate on if squirt is pee.
Scientists and sex experts haven’t come to an agreement. Like many aspects to sex and the body’s pleasure, there’s not enough unbiased study on it. Looking online, you can find research papers providing conflicting studies, making understanding the body confusing. There’s also the matter of how squirting is portrayed in adult media. It’s performative, many entertainers drinking heaps of water beforehand to ‘squirt’ for the camera.
It’s no wonder that some people believe that squirting is fake.
What we do know is that squirt does have traces of urine in it, as it passes through the urethra. Just like how ejaculate does. Squirt is made up of urea, creatinine, and uric acid, and scientists believe squirt comes from the skene glands. The skene glands are located close by the g-spot and are a part of the vulva that provides slick. Squirt is a clear liquid that is odorless and has a lubricating feel. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if squirt is pee. It’s just a normal reaction that the body has to sexual stimulation.
If peeing during sex is a concern for you, it’s always good to empty your bladder beforehand.
Do I have to have a full bladder to squirt?
Absolutely not. Once again, squirt isn’t really pee.
Is squirting messy?
Yes. Sex is messy. and squirting is another part of sex. It’s not something shameful. If you are worried about making a mess, there’s ways to avoid and limit it. You can lay down a towel or use water resistance blankets. It’ll be easier to clean. If you don’t mind getting a little lube, sweat and squirt on your sheets, make any post-sexy times into a cheeky laundry day.
I’d also recommend squirting in the bath or shower. That way you don’t have to worry about washing any sheets. Just check that your toys are waterproof if you want to use them in the shower.
“I made my partner squirt, that means I’m great at sex.”
Sorry to let you know, but no. You like your partner, and you want them to feel good – that’s amazing, but don’t make squirting into something to boost your ego. You shouldn’t expect your partner to squirt. It’s not disappointing if they don’t squirt – it’s not a sign ‘that you did a good job’. You don’t have to make your partner squirt for them to have an amazing time. Sex is about pleasure and sexual wellness is more than achieving a specific thing. If you want to try squirting, broach the subject with your partner. Ask if they have squirted before. Ask them how they feel about it.
Remember, sex doesn’t have to be a race to orgasm. Squirting isn’t the end goal to pleasure. It’s the delightful cherry on top.
How do I squirt?
There’s no guaranteed guide to squirting. What works for me might not work for you. I found that high vibrations and overstimulation makes me squirt, but not everyone’s sexual experience is the same. Not everyone can squirt, and that’s okay – never feel like it’s expected of you. Squirting doesn’t happen all the time. Just remember, your body might not squirt now, that doesn’t mean it never will.
When I started to learn about squirting, the most common advice I heard was to “relax”. That if you “relax” – you’ll squirt. Good advice in theory, but not helpful in practice. Our bodies don’t relax just because we tell it to. People can feel anxiety, nervousness, and even shame around sex due to their past experiences. You could be focusing on your partner’s pleasure, revelling in the performative aspect of sex. There are so many reasons why our bodies don’t relax during sex.
Many people have enjoyable, fulfilling sexual experiences without squirting. I feel like when people say to “relax” what they mean is to give into pleasure. Let your body take control. There’s no guide to that. My only advice is to explore your own pleasure – become comfortable with your body. Take your time. Find or make a safe space for your solo-play. Experiment with how you masturbate – and if you’re worried about other people hearing, we have tips for that too!
It’s a myth that you can only squirt from g-spot stimulation. While the g-spot is great – it’s not the only way your body can feel pleasure. You don’t have to have penetrative sex to squirt. The clitoris is a sensitive area, give it some loving too.
Hook your fingers, tease the g-spot and find the right pressure. Then play with the clitoris with your thumb. There are many toys that are amazing at targeting the g-spot, like the Wild Secrets Charm or the Lelo Mona Wave.
Spice it up with dual stimulation, use rabbit vibrators for lavish vibrations to both the clitoris and your g-spot. Play around with vibrations, try edging. Build anticipation. Revel in the sensations. Tease your other erogenous zones. Maybe your nipples?
Delight in whatever makes you wet. And if you don’t squirt – that’s okay too. As long as you enjoyed your playtime, you’re already winning!