This is a fun topic! Has squirting caught your sexual interest? When it comes to the elusive journey towards female ejaculation, there’s a lot of myth and hearsay. Is it even real, some ask? Dear reader, yes. The phenomenon of a woman squirting is indeed real, and it’s something you can do, too, if you own a vulva. Look no further for the ultimate guide on how to have a squirting orgasm. Who doesn’t want to wet the bed in the most fun of ways!?
What’s the nitty-gritty on squirting?
First and foremost, you need to know that every vulva-owner’s body is different, and female orgasm shows up in slightly different ways in each individual. If you’re unable to squirt — or rather, if you haven’t yet — or are disinterested in the subject entirely, nothing is wrong with you. Your body, anatomy, and pleasure script are all perfectly fine, just the way they are.
By the way, there are many mental and sexual health benefits to female orgasms that aren’t necessarily common knowledge. For example, do orgasms help cramps? They sure can!
Now, if you’d like to add squirting into the mix, that’s a worthy goal for yourself! But sexual pleasure is a personal thing, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to learn to squirt on behalf of someone else who might be using your sexuality to self-aggrandize themselves.
With that out of the way, what exactly is squirting? Can all women squirt? Is the fluid that women squirt the same thing as urine? Does it all come out of the urethra or elsewhere? The truth is, the fluid from female ejaculation almost gets more scrutiny than the process itself.
So let’s break it down: When we’re talking female ejaculation, we’re referring to the shooting or squirting of fluids from a woman’s urethra (the pee duct in vulva-owners that transports urine from the bladder). This doesn’t necessarily coincide with an orgasm, but it can, and women who’ve experienced it report that it feels amazing.
Female ejaculation fluids come in two different varieties:
1. Squirting fluid: This is a usually colorless, odorless fluid that comes out in large quantities.
2. Female Ejaculate fluid: This is a fluid that more closely resembles male semen and is usually milky and viscous in appearance.
Now, ejaculate fluid is said to come from the Skene’s gland, which is contained within the urethral sponge. Basically, they’re two small ducts on either side of the urethra towards the front section of the vaginal wall. Sometimes referred to as the “female prostate,” Skene’s glands aren’t the same thing as a prostate, despite the similarity to penis-having anatomy. In reality, the nickname has stuck around simply because, like the prostate, the Skene’s gland is able to drain fluids into the urethra.
What does squirting feel like?
The million-dollar question. What does it actually feel like? Well, first, there’s what’s actually happening, anatomy-wise. Sex educator Madeleine Castellanos, a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in sex therapy and author in the categories of sexual health and sexual medicine, says squirting is “the passage of urine through the urethra [that] can cause a tingling rush if the urethral erectile tissue is full of blood because the urethra is full of very sensitive nerve endings.”
Some women report that squirting orgasm feels both abrupt and like a large release of pressure. Sometimes it can also mimic the sensation of needing to pee. According to Dr. Castellanos, “women may have a sense of getting completely lost in their climax, and squirting may be their way of experiencing that surrender. If they enjoy themselves, then it’s adding to their sexual experience.” While an orgasm can make you feel “lost” as Dr. Castellanos says, how long does an orgasm last? With or without squirting, the duration of an orgasm also depends on the person.
Can you teach yourself to squirt?
The first step in squirting for the first time is to accept that it might not happen. Not everyone is comfortable doing it, and if you’re worried about making a mess or being pressured in some way, it probably won’t happen. For a woman/vulva-haver to squirt, they need to be relaxed and comfortable — and G spot stimulation helps.
Prepare
To prep, make sure to lay down something absorbent, like a towel or sheets you don’t love as much as the comfy ones. A little preparation goes a long way when it comes to not needing to wash all the bedding.
Get comfy
Being able to squirt is about both mental and physical relaxation. For example, if you’ve squirted in the past and were shamed by a previous partner, it might not happen again without proper self- or partner-based coaxing (depending on your chosen style of squirting). Get comfy, clear your calendar for a few hours, put on some music, and let yourself be transported into that lovely private sex den experience.
Foreplay
Squirting also won’t happen without sexual arousal, so lots of foreplay is recommended. If you know your hot zones already, you’re ahead of the game. For some people, sexual stimulation hot zones are the chest, breasts, or the soft spot near their hip bones; for others, it’s all about the ears, neck, or feet. Whatever your buttons are, now is a good time to become all hot and bothered.
At this point, it’s a good idea to find the G-spot. Whether it’s with the finger or an adult sex toy, use a tapping, stroking, or circular motion on the area inside your vaginal wall, towards your belly. Really, anything that feels good here is what you’re going for, but rhythmic and with slight pressing and releasing pressure.
If you feel a pressure build like you’re going to pee, lean into that feeling — you’re going in the right direction! If you’re having trouble getting there, it might be your body position, so make sure to try at least 3 G-spot sex positions. And if you’re flying solo, given the mechanics of ergonomics, you’re probably going to want to get a wand or some other kind of toy that’ll help you get all up in there.
Now, just because stimulating the G-spot really helps get this show on the road doesn’t mean that squirting shouldn’t also be paired with great oral sex if it’s available. If you’re a participant in partnered, girl squirt sex and you’re also into oral sex, adding some clitoral stimulation to the fun makes things go down easier.
If you’re practicing with sex toys, a G-spot vibrator can also help lead you down the path of G-spot orgasm. If you’re into anal sex, there are toys that can enhance that experience for you, as well. Explore our huge collection of sex toys for women for more pleasure products that can help you take your sex life to the next level.
Finally, just because all the signs are there doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to squirt. It might take a few times to get the hang of things; for some people, it takes many times of going through the process before it happens. But really, if you’re enjoying the process of trying and it’s making you feel all warm, fuzzy, and loved, then who cares whether you actually squirt or not? It’s about the journey, not the destination. Remember that your sexual pleasure and erotic bliss are yours to savor and enjoy.
For penis owners interested in learning more about their orgasms, read our related blog where we discuss what is semen retention and is it worth it?