If you’re ready to give your partner a blowjob then here are some tips on enjoying the experience. You’ll get better at giving head – sometimes called fellatio – with practice, so relax and focus on crafting a positive experience for both of you, no matter how experienced you are – or aren’t!
Set some blowjob boundaries
Before you start, it’s worth having a conversation about oral sex and setting some ground rules. For example, I will only give a blowjob on a clean penis. If your partner hasn’t showered in the morning or recently, it might taste like underwear or sweat. If you find this unpleasant, ask him to wash his privates with a hand towel.
His diet can also affect the taste. I can’t do a blowjob after my partner has eaten seafood in the last few days. Sometimes I might not know why, but I’ll refuse if it’s not turning me on. I’ll say something like, “This isn’t working for me”, and we’ll swap to something different. Also, I don’t like my head held. I feel a tad vulnerable when someone is pushing my head while giving head. So for me, that’s out. If he tries it on, I’ll stop immediately. You may be different, but it’s worth finding and setting your boundaries with clear communication.
Blowjobs are sometimes more pleasant when there’s no hair downstairs. So you’ll want to reward your partner whenever he gets a trim. It’s all about positive reinforcement.
The nuts and penis of a great blowjob
Using your hands can be both a helpful break, highly stimulating and lots of fun. But every person is different and if you haven’t had a lot of experience with penises, you can always ask your partner to show you how he masturbates. You’ll get an idea of his preferred hand movements. You can see what kind of pressure, speed, and spots he likes, and use that to inform your actions. If you’re feeling nervous or getting to know a new person, I recommend you start off gently. You can kiss around his crotch area. Or lick around his belly button. These days I generally just go for it.
The most sensitive spot on the penis is usually the head. So you might like to start nibbling on his shaft. You can lick up and down his penis. You can gently suck spots as you move upward.
Vary sensations for blowjob success
Change what you’re doing every now and then to keep him guessing and interested. An easy way is to experiment with pressure and technique. For example, you might like to get a little bit rougher – but do ask for feedback as you go. I like to hear moaning and groaning – I find positive feedback is a good motivator. If I know I’m doing a good job, then I’m more likely to keep going. You can also check on his facial expressions if he’s gone quiet – or just isn’t a moaner. You may find you want to close your eyes while giving head, which is fine too, but remember to take the occasional glance so you know how he’s doing.
I like to swivel my tongue around the head. He likes it when I flick my tongue back and forth quickly. As you progress, you can gently pull and suck with your mouth. Then you might like to change it up. Maybe imagine you’re enjoying a fast-melting ice cream, and you need to lick up the drops but savour the top.
Keep it wet and other blowjob tips
You want to be able to slide your tongue and mouth up and down his shaft with no friction, so remember to keep the area moist with saliva, or you can use lube. You can spit, but I prefer to let the saliva naturally flow out of my mouth.
You’ll trigger a gag reflex if his penis hits the back of your throat at a weird angle. This is normal and your body’s protective mechanism – personally, I can’t deep throat for very long. However, you can train your body to get used to the sensation if it’s something you’d like to do. Mastering the deep throat is a combination of confidence, skill, and the right angle – although it does help if his penis is on the smaller size. There are some products that are designed to help suppress your gag reflex, like the Doc Johnson GoodHead Deep Throat sprays, but you can give a great blowjob without ever deep-throating.
It’s normal to make weird noises during a blowjob, so if you feel the urge go for it. Just remember that adult performers tend to exaggerate these noises, so don’t feel bad if yours don’t match up.
Someone gave me the advice to imagine I was nibbling on a corn cob. However, please avoid using your teeth! Some men like tender bites, but I encourage you to learn about his penis preferences before trying. And definitely ask permission first.
Where do your hands go?
Once you get past the foreplay, where you put your hands can be a question that gets in the way of fun. You can place your hands on his knees or legs. Or use one hand to cradle and fondle his balls – seriously, don’t forget his balls. Some men will like their balls tugged and might like this a bit rougher. You can lick and suck his balls too. I’ll sometimes attempt to place two balls in my mouth at once, but alas it never works! It is fun trying though.
You can also hold onto his penis shaft as you work on the head. Or you can push his balls out of the way. You may like to move your hand up and down his shaft. If your mouth or jaw is getting tired, you can always swap to using your hands.
Finishing up
You can swallow or keep it in your mouth. Then discretely spit it out into an empty cup or the nearest bathroom sink. Basically, it’s a preference and whatever works for you is what you should be doing.
I’m not a swallower, so my partner gives me a little warning before he ejaculates. I can usually tell by how hard his penis is and hearing his faster breathing. But there have been occasions when we’ve both caught up in the moment and a mess is made.
I’m not a fan of finishing on my face. If he is going to squirt it on your belly, then you might like to place a beach towel down first. Be ready to jump in the shower afterward.
Is there a best blowjob position?
If I’m being honest, I’m yet to find a good position for giving blowjobs. In bed, you might need to experiment with a position that works for you. Do take care of your neck or back and try to avoid getting stuck in an awkward spot!
The most enjoyable spot I found was in the lounge room, watching an adult movie together. He was sitting on the sofa, and I was kneeling in front on a small pillow.
Next-level oral sex
When you’re ready to take your blow jobs to the next level, you might like to consider putting on a condom with your mouth. You can introduce a pocket vibrator or ice for different sensations. Oral sex can either be the whole meal or just the first course, but it’s a great way to start foreplay. From there, you can swap places or move into a 69 position. We usually finish with a quickie.
There are many edible products to make blowjobs more exciting. I like Doc Johnson’s GoodHead Tingle drops or the GoodHead The Ultimate Blow Job Gel. Use a couple of drops of your favourite flavour and you’ll find a new enthusiasm for all things oral! If you’re nervous or need some Dutch courage – then one glass of wine may make oral sex more enjoyable. But any more than that may lead to a decrease in performance.
In summary, giving a blow job can be an enjoyable part of foreplay that works for both of you. Make sure he’s clean and don’t worry if you can’t deep-throat on the first go. Check in to make sure he’s having fun, and that you’re having fun as well. Sex is about both of you, even if you want to make the blow job all about him. The most important thing to remember is that all dicks are different. So take your time to get to know your partner – after all, discovery is half the fun!