Yes, female ejaculation is real, and it does kind of share some similarities to male ejaculation. Neat, right? It’s so neat that we’re going to either have to set a towel down or be prepared to change the sheets.
What exactly is female ejaculation?
Good question. Why does the female body do this in the first place? Is female ejaculate fluid the same thing as urine? Does the fluid come out the same hole? Let’s take a look!
When we’re talking female anatomy as a fluid geyser, we’re talkin’ ‘bout the squirting fluid from a woman’s urethra. The urethra itself is the pee duct in a vulva-owner’s body that transports urine from the bladder to outside the body. Thanks, women’s bladders!
Now, female ejaculation doesn’t always coincide with any sort of vaginal or clitoral orgasm, but it certainly can. And women who’ve already used their squirt-gun, so to speak, have said it feels ahhhhh-mazing.
There are basically two different types of female ejaculation fluid: Squirting fluid, and ejaculate fluid. Squirting fluid is an odorless, colorless fluid that comes out in large quantities (thus the use of the evocative verb “squirt”). It’s composed of uric acid, urea, and creatinine.
Ejaculate fluid, on the other hand, is a fluid that more closely resembles male ejacule, and is usually more milky in color, and viscous. It’s also good to note that this whole squirting thing is not the same thing as coital incontinence (aka urine leakage) that can happen during sex. Sexual medicine is capable of doing remarkable things, and if you’re having trouble with coital incontinence, you should see a sexual health professional to get a little assistance.
Where does ejaculate fluid come from in a woman if she doesn’t have a penis? Fun fact: it comes from the Skene’s glands (also called the Skene glands, or paraurethral glands), which are located within the urethral sponge. These glands are small ducts on the sides of the urethra, located towards the forward section of the vaginal wall. Sometimes the Skene’s glands are referred to as the “female prostate,” but that’s just because people suck at naming things. 😉 Skene’s glands are not prostate glands, despite their similar ability to shoot things out the urethral canal, and the fluids from the Skene’s glands are not prostatic fluids/prostatic secretions.
Is squirting normal?
Yes! Squirting is a totally normal (and totally fun) sexy-time thing. For some, it seems like a far-off concept that couldn’t possibly happen, but we assure you that it’s within reach if you’re interested in going there.
While it’s true that not every woman has squirted, the phenomenon is not that uncommon. According to a study conducted in 2013, somewhere between 10-54% of women have gotten down with the liquid business, and on average, the amount of liquid emitted was between 0.3 mL to 150 mL. Now, that’s a wide range on both counts.
What’s a little more specific is this: Of those vulva-owners who squirted, the breakdown of frequency varies, but a striking statistic is that 19% of women in the study reported squirting practically every time during sex.
How to squirt during sex
Wondering how to make yourself squirt? In order to squirt during sex, the first and most important step is to take the pressure off yourself to perform. The fact is squirting might not happen, and that’s totally OK. So much of a woman’s mental health, safety, and connectedness within partnership (if that’s your jam) come into play where squirting is involved, and if you or your favorite vulva-owner is under duress to perform, chances are nobody is going to play with the squirt-gun that day.
Second step? Make sure to plan ahead and prep your space so it’s easy to get out from under the giant lake you’re about to make. In preparation, set something absorbent down over your lovely sex palace (that might double as your bed). This way, when you do end up causing a minor indoor monsoon, it’ll just take a quick trip to the washing machine and shower before you’re ready to drift off to sleep. Frontload the prep — you’ll thank yourself later!
Third: A vulva-owner’s ability to squirt hinges on both their headspace and their bodies being relaxed. If you’re the one looking to squirt, getting into your own head will make the experience harder. For example, if you’ve squirted in the past and a previous partner shamed you for that, you might not be able to do it again without some help setting that past experience aside. So block off a nice chunk of time during which you can luxuriate in this wonderful sex experience. Relax — you deserve it!
Next: This one’s kinda a no-brainer, but squirting won’t happen without some healthy sexual arousal. A lot of foreplay and sexual stimulation is required for this sexual experience, which is also great because who doesn’t love tons of lovin’? If you know the spots that get you all hot and bothered, get to touching and caressing those so your body knows it’s time to direct all blood flow and attention to sexual pleasure. Now is a good time to shout out the fact that not all foreplay must be physical. Slow dancing or erotic talk counts; the point is to ramp up the sexual energy, not just to touch certain ladybits.
Once you’re good and revved up, you can get into the nitty-gritty of the prep for squirting. It’s a good time to locate your G-spot (or have your partner locate it). Whether you’re using a G-spot stimulation adult sex toy, your own hands, or your partner’s hands, you want to use some steady, firm, rhythmic pressure here. This means nice consistent strokes, or circular motions, on the inner area of the vaginal wall (aka the top wall, or the wall facing the belly). This part isn’t exactly science; you want to just do things that make you feel nice. You do want to be doing this in a rhythmic fashion, and increasing the level of pressure as you go.
Other sexual activity at the same time? Yes, please
When it comes to the world of the female orgasm, sexual stimulation, and a person’s sex life, squirting can be seen as the pinnacle. So it’s not super surprising that in order to get there, focusing on G-spot stimulation is a fantastic place to start, but it by no means has to be the only thing going on.
It’s awesome if a partner wants to give a vulva-owner oral sex while this other stuff is happening — and clitoral stimulation is always welcome. Who knows? You might just induce a G-spot orgasm and squirting at the same time!
Can you squirt from vaginal penetration?
According to sex coach Gigi Engle, “Manual stimulation is more likely to make someone squirt than penis-in-vagina or dildo-in-vagina intercourse.” Other experts agree — hands (or toys) are a whole lot more likely to get you there than a cock.
Any other tips on squirting with a partner?
Yes — connection is key. The more deeply connected you are and the more attuned your partner is to your body, including your breath, your noises, how adjustments in the pacing of strokes is going, etc., the more likely you are to “get there.”
It’s a great idea to engage in some intimate eye contact before getting into the manual stimulation, sync your breathing, and perhaps even tell each other something you like or love about one another. The more you feel accepted and seen, the more likely your body is to relax and enjoy, and that’s the foundation of the whole thing.
Finally, it’s good to keep in mind that different women are exactly that — different. Your turn-on is personal, and your body is unique. So it may take you a few tries to squirt during sexual activity, and it can be one of those things that also happens when you relax and let go (i.e. stop trying). Sort of like those magic eye posters from back in the day — you’ve got to let yourself relax in order to see the magic.
Abracadabra, and off you go.